- tu es foutu -

fact #1: i was in a relationship with aliff.

fact #2: i broke up with aliff, and paired up with awin.

fact #3: i still hang out with aliff, even after the break up.

fact #4: awin got overly jealous because of fact #1 and fact #2.

fact #5: because of fact #4, awin slept with his housemate; syant, who happened to be my ONS years ago.

fact #6: awin broke up with me.

fact #7: awin paired up with syant.

fact #8: syant flirted with aliff via facebook.

fact #9: syant told awin that it was aliff who contacted him through facebook, and awin was OK with it, because as awin put it, "i know why aliff contacted syant".

Question #1: if awin is OK with syant contacting aliff, why was it not OK for me to hang out with aliff previously?

Question #2: if awin's 'OK'ness can't be justified, then his jealousy towards aliff and me was NOT genuine?

Question #3: if the jealousy was NOT genuine, then what was his real reason for his betrayal?

- comic comic comico -

i was furious with my ex and his new bf, and i made some artwork to relieve my anger. here are some photos of my ex; awin and his new bf; syant [click on the images, for bigger images]:

moral of the story: if you wanted to be discreet, don't post suggestive photos of yourselves on the net.

- you were there -

Iswandy: I was with him in 2000. We lasted for a few months, ‘til I finally decided to break up with him on 2001’s New Year’s Eve. Cool, right? Haha! He’s OK, but things didn’t work quite well; he was in Brunei, and I was in KL. Trust became the main issue.

Salzali: After Iswandy, it was Salzali. Yes, two anak ikans pairing up. Sweeeeet... I was 21, and he was 18. He was a nice boy. But, then again, I decided to break up with him. I didn’t see any prospect for us. We lasted for a few months.

Zarim: Owh yes! Some of my friends considered him as the love of my life. Haha! We paired up from 2001 ‘til 2004. He broke up with me ‘cause things got a ‘lil bit nasty and complicated between us. And it was with him, we experimented on having an open relationship; definitely NOT my cup of tea.

Janior: My first ever Sabahan partner. I didn’t think that I would be in a relationship again after my previous break up, but I managed to coaxed myself to just give it a try. I was with him from 2005 ‘til 2007.

Nooraliff: We were together briefly, BUT it was definitely memorable. He was such a sweet and intelligent person [still is]. I was with him in 2007. I broke up with him ‘accidentally’.

Aluin: The latest addition in my collection of exes. I was with him in 2008. He broke up with me due to some ‘questionable’ issues. This was my second LDR [Long Distance Relationship]; he was in Kuching, and I was in KK.

Akzam Syukri: Not my ex, I don’t even know what to ‘label’ him. In 2004, lots of things happened, and he was one of the ‘happenings’. In a confused state, I began to like him more than just a casual sex partner. And he seemed to show the same interest, but both of us never voiced out our feelings. Our status remains unsettled ‘til today.

Nazrul Hisham: My ‘lil cute photographer. He was also one of the ‘happenings’ in 2004. Our status remained unsettled ‘til 2007. In October 2007, we met up [when I was in JB] and finally, we talked about our ‘relationship’. Everything has been sorted out.

Nurashikin: Well, there are times in a gay guy’s life that he would fall for a girl, or even girls. We got acquainted in 1999, and a year after that, we got ‘closer’. And ‘unknowingly’, we grew fond of each other, BUT we didn’t dare to verbalize the emotions. In an odd way, I still love her ‘til today.

Even though I broke up with the ones that I love, all of us are still in good terms. Yes, I’m buddies with my exes. And most of them are in my Facebook. :b

- ricardo : book one -

i've compiled some of my works from 2005 to 2008. the ebook [pdf format] can be downloaded here, or you can click on the thumbnail of the ebook cover on the sidebar.

- position yourself -

- whenever... -

Whenever I’m bored, and got nothing to do, I would browse through the old text messages that I’d stored in my mobile phone. I have the tendency to store text messages that I deem as ‘interesting’. I’m going to share some of the text messages that my ex sent me.

1] “Bi malu btl mao bgtao.tp x pa la.bi rela,uda buat salah.ringan wit asan, no suckin no fuckin.jay jay kis. pundan d kg CD yg pena ikot ur car,kis me.ned kis. akzam kis. aleaf heavy. dat’s all.”

[NOTE : he forgot to mention a few other names; wandi blowjob. aiman heavy. Chris heavy. Sazali kis]

2] “I love u and i want u bck. N I’m sure u knw dat. I’m so into u n i wil wait 4 u. U didn’t gv me d chance 2 do sumthng abt it. i’m jealous wen eva u gt calls n msgs.”

3] “Why did u leave me!!! I knw i was wrong, np u didn’t try to wait. I love u n i hate u. Why r u doing dis to me?”

4] “Ki,bi mao mta sumthg? Jan bgtao org abt me n jan bgtao org psl ah chai, bi x mao dia terlibat. biarla dia reserved ja. Blh ka?”

5] “whnevr i look at d star, i thnk abt u. Whnevr it’s rainin, i mis ur comfort. Whnevr i see a ful moon, i thnk abt our anivsary. Whnever i play games, i mis ur laughter. Whnever u r nt here wit me, i mis u. Gudnyte my prince charming.”

All of the text messages were sent after the breakup except for text 1. And FYI, ki=me and bi=my ex. I was with him from July 2005 – October 2007. See, I’m buddies with all of my exes except him; Janior. Should any of you bumped into him, throw some rotten eggs at him for me, thanks!

And i think i need to clarify here that i hated him NOT because he had sex with other peeps [some of them are my own friends], BUT it’s because of his unacceptable accusations on me and the lies that he broadcasted to others about the breakup.